Probably a regular blogger would have done better than me but still I am doing what I've wanted to do since long. Write, compose something so good that makes the reading experience worth while. At the risk of sounding defensive, I do realize that the very first thing to feel is to love my own composition. Well, enough blabbering, I'm not too sure what I wanna write, what I wanna say or what the theme of my composition is gonna be. So, I'm just gonna go with the thoughts in my mind and end up with something I'll definitely love.
One day years ago, while I was a crazy IIT aspirant (just to clarify, I never made to IIT's or for that matter, any college of that rank) and had already spoiled a year after clearing my 12th, I found myself at a railway station, far from my abode, penniless as my pocket had been picked. My only could be contact in that lonely town was a former student of my father who also happened to be the assistant station master at that railway station but I had lost his contact number along with my wallet. In 2002, those were the days when Rs. 1200 were enough monthly allowance for me to lead a lavish life as per my own standards but that great evening, I didn't have even one rupee with me. Stupid me, I still carry all my money in my only wallet, don't most of us do? Cell phones were yet to catch the fancy of people like me those days, so I was at an unfamiliar juncture, with no money to go anywhere or eat anything after a long journey. And then, after trying to find the assistant station master for long with no success, I came across the experience of my life that has stuck with me and has contributed hugely in making me the person I am today. I was just past my 19th b'day and found myself being approached by a coolie who didn't look very kind but approach he did with so much understanding on his face that I didn't try to run away. "Do you need some help kid?" were the first words he uttered. He didn't sound highly literate but did make me feel very vulnerable and secure at the same time with his tone and gesture. As if I cared about his academic background at that moment, I couldn't hold myself together anymore. The hunger and exhaustion had got better of me by then. "I'm looking for this person but haven't been able to find him, have lost my wallet and have no money to pay you." I later realized how disrespectful I had been in my selection of words, the man wasn't looking for money, he was genuinely trying to help a lost someone. That poor, illiterate, old, a small town coolie with the heart I still marvel, took me under his wings at that very moment, patted at my back and asked me not to worry at all. He knew the guy I was supposed to meet and that he was in late shift that particular day. He offered me to come along with him to his official shelter which was at that very railway station. I hesitantly accepted his offer, always thinking that what if he turned out to be someone with crooked mind. I was soon to find out that good people still make the world worth living. I was provided with shower, food, water, comfortable bed and not too bad a place to stay while we waited for my host to report to duty. When the moment came for us to part our ways, I only trying to repay in the only possible way I could, borrowed some money from my host and offered them to the holy coolie. I wonder how a man builds such a strong character. I try so hard every day, every moment to do the right-most thing no matter how much it hurts me and still feel that I'm yet to reach even in the visibility range of the level that human was. He was a man of few words. All he told me was if I really wanted to repay him, I should help someone in need, without any return expected.
In those moments, I learnt the biggest lesson of my life. I learnt to be righteous and not to expect anything in return for whatever good I can do. Not that I've not made any mistakes afterwards or have been content with whatever has come my way. I have done things I regret and have been greedy at times but it's been almost 10 years since that day and I certainly have become much better a person than I could ever have been if not for that great person. I never asked his name or never got back to him in any way but I hope that my gratitude to him serves him in some way and I often pray that the world happens to have a lot of people like that ordinary coolie with extra-ordinary humanly traits.
Doing some good to someone may not be too difficult at times but expecting nothing in return if that someone is close to me, is way too difficult for me. I'm yet to come to terms with it. I expect so much from someone I care about too much. Hopefully some day, I'll become mature enough to let go of my lusts and meet him again. In the mean time, I try beyond ordinary levels to not let my lusts get better of me and be a man of character that makes me feel proud. How much do the small things matter? The most.
One day years ago, while I was a crazy IIT aspirant (just to clarify, I never made to IIT's or for that matter, any college of that rank) and had already spoiled a year after clearing my 12th, I found myself at a railway station, far from my abode, penniless as my pocket had been picked. My only could be contact in that lonely town was a former student of my father who also happened to be the assistant station master at that railway station but I had lost his contact number along with my wallet. In 2002, those were the days when Rs. 1200 were enough monthly allowance for me to lead a lavish life as per my own standards but that great evening, I didn't have even one rupee with me. Stupid me, I still carry all my money in my only wallet, don't most of us do? Cell phones were yet to catch the fancy of people like me those days, so I was at an unfamiliar juncture, with no money to go anywhere or eat anything after a long journey. And then, after trying to find the assistant station master for long with no success, I came across the experience of my life that has stuck with me and has contributed hugely in making me the person I am today. I was just past my 19th b'day and found myself being approached by a coolie who didn't look very kind but approach he did with so much understanding on his face that I didn't try to run away. "Do you need some help kid?" were the first words he uttered. He didn't sound highly literate but did make me feel very vulnerable and secure at the same time with his tone and gesture. As if I cared about his academic background at that moment, I couldn't hold myself together anymore. The hunger and exhaustion had got better of me by then. "I'm looking for this person but haven't been able to find him, have lost my wallet and have no money to pay you." I later realized how disrespectful I had been in my selection of words, the man wasn't looking for money, he was genuinely trying to help a lost someone. That poor, illiterate, old, a small town coolie with the heart I still marvel, took me under his wings at that very moment, patted at my back and asked me not to worry at all. He knew the guy I was supposed to meet and that he was in late shift that particular day. He offered me to come along with him to his official shelter which was at that very railway station. I hesitantly accepted his offer, always thinking that what if he turned out to be someone with crooked mind. I was soon to find out that good people still make the world worth living. I was provided with shower, food, water, comfortable bed and not too bad a place to stay while we waited for my host to report to duty. When the moment came for us to part our ways, I only trying to repay in the only possible way I could, borrowed some money from my host and offered them to the holy coolie. I wonder how a man builds such a strong character. I try so hard every day, every moment to do the right-most thing no matter how much it hurts me and still feel that I'm yet to reach even in the visibility range of the level that human was. He was a man of few words. All he told me was if I really wanted to repay him, I should help someone in need, without any return expected.
In those moments, I learnt the biggest lesson of my life. I learnt to be righteous and not to expect anything in return for whatever good I can do. Not that I've not made any mistakes afterwards or have been content with whatever has come my way. I have done things I regret and have been greedy at times but it's been almost 10 years since that day and I certainly have become much better a person than I could ever have been if not for that great person. I never asked his name or never got back to him in any way but I hope that my gratitude to him serves him in some way and I often pray that the world happens to have a lot of people like that ordinary coolie with extra-ordinary humanly traits.
Doing some good to someone may not be too difficult at times but expecting nothing in return if that someone is close to me, is way too difficult for me. I'm yet to come to terms with it. I expect so much from someone I care about too much. Hopefully some day, I'll become mature enough to let go of my lusts and meet him again. In the mean time, I try beyond ordinary levels to not let my lusts get better of me and be a man of character that makes me feel proud. How much do the small things matter? The most.
